Okay, I am not a prude by any means, but 10 minutes into the show, the innkeeper Lisa, aka Boobs McGee, has offended me no less than half a dozen times. Firstly, her tits are out and on display before Gordon even gets in the door. Sexual innuendos; jokes about menstruation and cross-dressing; nothing is off limits for this woman.
Methinks she doth protests too muchβ¦. The poor hostess is dressed like a drunken bar wench, complete with a braided updo. And they pay for it themselves! Who the fuck cares how fat the hostess is? Sod off, Boobs McGee. Invest in a better bra. Lisa shows Gordon to his room, which I am pretty sure was a leftover set from the brothel on Deadwood. Gordon finds a door in his room locked with a padlock. Oh shit. I think I know where this is going. Wait, what?
She owns an entire Inn, yet she stores her clothing in a closet in a guest room? What the fuck. Clothing from circa and a few moths fly out. Gordon goes to sit down to eat, and ends up at a table next to a dresser stuffed with crap. Hoarders has nothing on this chick. Gordon ordered the sea scallops and is not impressed by their appearance or flavor.
They look like a dog chewed it, and taste like shit. The next dish comes with an edible flower, and I suppose that makes it look slightly less like donkey testicles. Then stands over her until Gordon makes her leave. We cut to Lisa lying in bed, commanding some bed maid to pull her ankle because it hurts, all the while bitching about husband. He actually takes the cover off and touches the water. I hate to think what body fluids he got on his hand. Back to dinner service. The kitchen is crammed full of teacups and doilies and 20 tons of shit.
Food is just sitting around and Jonathan just kind of shrugs when Gordon asks why the steak is now room temperature. Gordon rightly tells a couple that their chicken was roasted 2 and a half days ago, and Lisa flips the fuck out when they express their dismay. First she wants to throw the customers out; then she is all passive aggressive to them; then she acts all clueless to Gordon.
